from the Enterprisers Project,
download a free pdf of an HBR article
I often speak to clients about being authentic while enabling others to gain trust and to engage by getting to know you better as a person, not just as a manager. This article helps illustrate where leaders sometimes fail in their attempt to gain more intimacy with their teams, then puts forth five simple steps to help leaders achieve more effective and authentic disclosure. Starting with self-awareness, relevance, keeping revelations genuine, knowing the context in which you are operating, and finally, what may be too personal.
read the full article here
Be Yourself, But Carefully
Learn how to be authentic without oversharing, by Lisa Rosh and Lynn Offerman
Sometimes my clients struggle to connect with their leadership team members. Everyone is polite, does what they need to do to get the job done, but interactions are polite, brief... there seems to be a lack of engagement. One of the first areas I check is how well does the team really know you - as a person, as a human being, understanding the context of the challenge you face? When I speak of leadership vulnerability, often times the first reaction I get is a fear to show themselves as weak or incapable. Actually, over the years I have learned the opposite. Leaders who can show vulnerability invite a connection and relationship with their team members that is far stronger than a leader who tries to appear perfect and knows all the answers. This article is a great summary of some of the real life experience I have had as a leader myself as well as with my clients.
from Entrepreneur Magazine
Practice the Magical Strength of Vulnerability
by Beth Miller
Read the full article here
Learning to Apologize
When was the last time you had a situation arise at home or at the office that ended in a less than desirable way? How did you handle it? Did you think about all the things that the other person did that was wrong? Did you contemplate what was your part in this interaction? Did you decide to forget about the situation and just move on?
It’s interesting that in most cultures, we say I am sorry or apologize for many little things, whether it is for interrupting someone mid-sentence or stepping into their path in a hallway. For example, in Japan, we say we are sorry if we are about to eat first or leave the room. But when it comes to apologizing for something important with people we care about or those we rely upon at work, we seem to choke on the words. And if we manage to give an apology, it is often immediately followed by an explanation of why we did it. “I’m sorry, but….” The end effect is that we are really good at apologizing for things that are trivial, but for the people that really matter, our attempt at making an apology doesn’t really have an impact. In the end, we risk losing a piece of the goodwill in our relationships that can have a lasting effect in the long run.
What Gets in the Way?
First thought, sometimes it really doesn’t matter if you feel that the other person was 90% at fault and you were 10% at fault. Anyway, it is rare in any conflict that someone is 100% at fault....
Competitiveness seems can be perceived as normal for anyone on the job. It can be perceived as a sign that someone is doing all that they can to do to do the best job. Other times it can create barriers to trust and leave your colleagues wondering if you are on the same team (or out for your own agenda). I think that this behavior can also be perceived differently when exhibited by men or by women. While the behavior can be perceived as natural when exhibited by men, women who are competitive usually get some additional (and unflattering) labels attached to them at the first sign of competitiveness. When competitiveness becomes associated with you as a negative identity label, it can be coming from a behavior that you exhibit or it can come from others who feel that they need to compete against you for some reason. Don’t be surprised if you find your colleagues competing against you. That’s life. I choose to think of it as a compliment. After all, why else would that person be competing with you? You must be good at something that you do for them to notice you and choose to be competitive with you.
Is there a problem here? Maybe not, but I would be doing a disservice not to mention something for you to think about. It might be worth taking a look whether or not this is a problem if you ...